Years ago, I would have laughed at the crazy notion that my life's purpose is about cultivating more of the Feminine principle in leadership and organizations.
As a young woman, I had no sisters, very few women friends and lots of men friends. I wanted nothing to do with Feminism or women's issues. I was doing just fine on my own, thank you very much.
In my 20s and early 30s, I operated in a primarily Masculine mode, on hyperdrive. I was over-doing, over-giving, and "handling it." I didn't know how to slow down or relax... Forget about receiving support or melting into pleasure.
I was out of shape, dull, and unhappy. I got a divorce, went to graduate school and changed careers. When my therapist invited me to join her Nature-based personal development program, I was thrilled because I was hungry to reconnect with myself. But my connection to the Feminine was still off-line: I was shocked when I arrived at the first retreat and discovered that it was a women's community. What? It made no sense to me.
I spent the next 10 years taking better care of myself: I practiced yoga, slept on the earth, and dove into my spiritual practice. I had never felt so alive! People kept telling me that I glowed with the radiance of the Divine Feminine. I liked hearing that, but I had no idea what they were talking about.
Then in my mid-40s, I came crashing down again. I'd been working so hard in my new career as a management consultant that my energy was depleted. Even though I loved the work, my efforts to push myself, prove myself, and make money had taken a toll. I fell ill with adrenal fatigue and suffered from a painful mis-alignment in my spine (read: misalignment in my life).
Without adrenaline as a source of energy, I was forced to reduce my work load and slow down. I signed up for an advanced yoga program – again with a women's community! – but I mostly avoided class because I felt so crappy. And I still wasn't used to being in a group of women.
One day, I arrived at the studio in tears, hoping to meditate and then disappear before anyone saw me. My teacher grabbed me in the hallway, put her arm around me, and said, "Stay. You don't have to do the class. Just lie down under the tree by the window and we will practice for you." Then she kissed my neck and whispered, "You cannot heal this on your own. Let your sisters love you through it."
I cried with gratitude and relief. And I managed to let my sisters love me through it.
I discovered that the true source of my energy cannot be depleted, and is not actually mine. It flows through me – and you and all of us – from the divine. The true source of our power is inexhaustible because it comes from the source of Life itself.
And that source is Feminine.
The journey to give up my hyper-Masculine ways and allow Feminine wisdom and power to flow through me has produced amazing results in my life, and I continue to learn more every day. I'd love to share these gifts with you.
If you've "hit a wall" with too much Masculine, or feel a deep longing to reconnect with the Feminine in your life, you're not alone. I am here to love you through it.
To your joy and freedom,